New Year 1945.

New Year 1945

 by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

With every power for good to stay and guide me,
comforted and inspired beyond all fear,
I’ll live these days with you in thought beside me,
and pass, with you, into the coming year.

While all the powers of Good aid and attend us,
boldly we’ll face the future, be it what may.
At even, and at morn, God will befriend us,
and oh, most surely on each new year’s day

The old year still torments our hearts, unhastening:
the long days of our sorrow still endure.
Father, grant to the soul thou hast been chastening
that Thou hast promised—the healing and the cure.

Should it be ours to drain the cup of grieving
even to the dregs of pain, at thy command,
we will not falter, thankfully receiving
all that is given by thy loving hand.

But, should it be thy will once more to release us
to life’s enjoyment and its good sunshine,
that we've learned from sorrow shall increase us
and all our life be dedicate as thine.

To-day, let candles shed their radiant greeting:
lo, on our darkness are they not thy light,
leading us haply to our longed-for meeting?
Thou canst illumine e’en our darkest night.

When now the silence deepens for our hearkening
grant we may hear thy children’s voices raise
from all the unseen world around us darkening
their universal paean, in thy praise.

While all the powers of Good aid and attend us,
boldly we’ll face the future, be it what way.
At even, and at morn, God will befriend us,
And oh, most surely on each new year’s day!

my heart still beats

 

I'm laying awake late at night, listening to the beating of your heart.
Your arms wrapped around me as you sleep.
'how far have we come," i whisper.
I look out the window looking at the star.

"thinking back to the time before this, there was a dying love, that held us together, until the time that we could finally meet
Now you being here next to me, makes my heart skip a beat.

A secrete's kept between you and me.
This love that came to be, should been impossible to have even dreamed.

Tears spring from my eyes, distant memories began to arise.
Things where not always like this.
There was a time we where caught in stormier skies.

I felt lost and alone caught in a darker place.
Wandering, looking for something, never feeling safe.
I knew something in my life was missing

Waking up crying in the middle of the night, something did not feel right.
The countless times that i could not sleep, wanting something to hold, something I could keep.

Feeling my heart shatter into peaces, from the weight of this pain.
Scars on my arms tells of the tears spent, hoping it would subside.
Not sure i could get back up this time.

Laying there wondering "am i still alive?"
"Is my heart still beating?"
"Is it time?"

Just then, I look up to see, a hand reaching down.
A quiet voice calls my name.
I think "'I have been found?'" "someones come?"

Taking the hand I was lifted out.
I see a light shine in the darkness of mine.
Peace fills me up I'm me, What I'm  missing I'm beginning to see.

I opened up the doors to my heart, love was the key.
A path was laid out before thee, Seeing a destiny he has for me
This is the first time we had met.

Since then you have held onto me, never letting go.
I feel alive, my heart is free.
You tell me you will always be with me .

(My heart  is for you, in my heart you will always be.
For i love you with all my heart. This i want you to see)
love you with my whole heart ~

Courage in the face of danger.

I been thinking a lot lately about Courage in the face of danger. To protect everything you love and care about even if it means risking your own life to do it. Jesus and his death on the cross is prefect example of that. Dying for us the human race so we who follow his lead does not go to hell and others have a way to escape the punishment that we all deserve. In spirit of  these three passages I wanted to point to people in history who shown these movement to actions in the face of great dangers.
John 15: 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Galatians 6:9  And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

1 john 3: 16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

chief shenandoah and his tribe not only joined the Revolutionary War with the Colonist while most of his people were joining with the British which made him and his tribe a target by his own people but also save Washington and his men by giving them corn during their time in Valley Forge. He did what he felt was right not what was popular and made a stand for freedom for his people and the people around him. Sacrificing a lot to do the right thing. If you want to read more about his tribes stands click here.

Lydia Bixby and her sons are another great example of this. During the Civil War. A war to free slaves and to unite a nation Mrs. Bixby sons all went to fight for others freedom and all ended up dying to help to free slaves from their bonds so they can have the right to be treated as men and women and not cattle to be sold. Which so moved President Lincoln he had to personally write to her.

Executive Mansion,
Washington, Nov. 21, 1864.

Dear Madam,--

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.

I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,

A. Lincoln

And there are plenty of others in history who have done the same. People like Michael Murphy Dietrich Bonhoeffer and George Washington just to name a few all have these qualities in common. They stood up for what they believed and all paid dearly two with there lives. The point in all of this God calls us to sacrificial love even if it means our own lives. When he calls us to pick up our cross and follow him. He calls us to his pain. Not only pain he suffered in following God but the pain he felt for others who suffer. He wants us to be there to help and to die to protect others from harm. For as Jesus himself said " Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." 

Stop with the race war.

Why is there this talk of this race VS that race? Don't people realize we are one race in God's eyes? I am sorry to point this out to all racist on all sides. Whether it be in politics race religion or creed racism is just simply wrong and fighting racism and bigotry with more racism and bigotry. If you think there was racism involved in Ferguson or New York City in the cops why then attack them with your own brand of racism? Why listen to the great race dividers in the nation when we should be listening to the people who want to unit us? Why turn to people of the black panthers Nation of Islam National Socialist Workers Party (Nazis) or the KKK for answers in times like this when all they know is hate and bigotry?      

You want to kill racism want to make it a part of the past then stop turning the the haters and the town burners and turn to Jesus who does not see race economic status but what is in your heart. What good is burning down town beating up people of a different race because you are angry at some cop or some robber. Enough of this race war. We should be beyond this in this day of age. We should be hand in hand not club with club. But instead of listening to God we listen to people who profit off of the dead and racism. Instead of turning to the creator of the universe we turn to our own anger and our own justice. God said Justice is his and his alone. Why do we dethrone God in order to claim our own Justice? You burn  people's businesses steal or randomly beat up someone from another race because of actions not even theirs. How is that going to stop racism? Police are not the enemy or a party but our leaders who get rich off of all of this fighting. Who grab more power to themselves as we fight each other.

In the end answering hate with more hate is not the answer but answering love with hate is. Instead of siding with the problem be the solution. I know this will fall on deaf ears to many who already decided that the white black brown red yellow or name color devil needs to die. Which this message is not for them for they are already lost. My message is to those who just got in this mess or about to. Not me for I march with the army of light where you did not need to be of the same race but carry our crosses with Jesus as we follow him and him alone. Please join me in the movement of love.

dont say goodbye

wrapped in each others arms, the night comes to a standstill 
its as if time itself has stopped.
 it seems as if the universe is holding its breath, and even the stars above seem to lean into see what happens next 
a flash happens,  in a fraction of a second.  
i look up and see your face, tears come down. 
your holding me now.

your whispering "i love you" as you hold me closer.
reaching over i brush the tears off your cheeks. 
things seem to be moving in slow motion, and it seems there's only you and me. 
looking in your eyes, all the love i can see 

holding your hand, smile on my face. 
i can feel its close, its almost time to go
the beating of my heart becomes slower i lower my head back down.

there's something to be said before that time
"please know you will always have this heart of mine.
you don't have to be afraid, even when things seem hopeless,
hope will always find a way to rise, even in this darkness let your light shine.

here in your embrace, i find peace as i began to take my last breath 
crying, you ask me to hold , but i know that the time for me to leave isn't long. 

you don't have to cry, this isn't goodbye. 
stay strong, and continue to carry on.
don't say goodbye, this isn't the end of the rode.
when the time comes, i shall again be with you. 

looking at you one last time, a smile across my face, a breath escapes me .
"i love you , your never alone" a breath escapes me for the last time 
i take my last breath, still wrapped in your arms 
you start to say goodbye, the words echo in your mind 

time seems to flow again. 
words taken to heart. 
you now hold onto the hope
"maybe this isn't the end one day we shall see each other again 

Ticket out of hades

I been listening to this band for a year and I have to say there brand of Christian music really does get you to think. Like this song for instance and this is what it gets me to think. We put our hopes in so many things that end up failing or to be lies like false prophets and there predictions. Even sometimes we just do not have hope at all. We drown in our own hopelessness. We point fingers at others for our pain or even God himself.

But the good news is that Jesus Christ died for us. Not only to save us from our sinful nature but to help us. Not only to bring us into his circle but to heal us of our pain we carry with us everyday. the loneliness we feel, The loss, guilt of past mistakes, and even our sin. He died and rise to carry it all for us. It chains us down. Keeps us as Satan slave. While our past has concurrences. While our actions might of hurt others. I believe Jesus will help us mend the wrong we did to others or to ourselves. But none of this cannot happen if you do not reach out to him who took our punishment for our crimes.

No other God is like Jesus Christ for he knows what it is like to be like us. He has lost love ones. He has been rejected by everyone included his family and friends and died for what he believed in with no one beside him. He understands pain. He understands loss. Why not trust him who can to earth to live like one of us and took our punishment in our place. We stand on charges of high treason against God and he has our pardon. All we have to do is ask for forgiveness and to follow him. Yes it maybe a high price to pay for some. You maybe rejected by a few of your friends or mocked but that is nothing if you do not take the ticket out of Hades. So join me if you will. Stand with Christ and me who he forgave for being an enemy of his. For speaking out against him and even mocking others for believe in him as an atheist. If he could forgive me and Saint Paul who hunted down his followers and killed them than he can forgive you.

starlet promise

looking up at the stars as i think of you,  only the beating of my heart reveals how much i miss you
the tears on my cheeks, shimmering in the light of the stars above
i know in my heart that one day i shall see you again

the scars i see on my wrist cant compare to a love like this
so before you left, there is a promise that's to be kept
pointing to the stars hand high above my head
here's my promise to be said, "i will hang on till the very end"

i look up at the moon and you are looking up at it too
our hearts beat as one a new promise has begun
when ever you feel sad and alone, look up at the moon know im looking there too

maybe in doing this the distance will seem, so much smaller to you and me
we are looking at the stars, imagine the whole universe displayed before thee
we have the honors of seeing the beauty of the heavens tonight
its amazing looking at this sight, there's so many mystery's in this life

looking at the scars on my wrist one last time, remembering whispering i will hang on till i can be with you
your arms wrapped around me and you in mine
tears in my face smiling, i said i'd wait for that faithful day to come

I said i would wait till the end of all time, for i to  be yours and you to be mine
so until then i look up at the stars and hold on, my heart continues to play this song
i will look at the sky and wait for this day
this gives my heart the strength to continue on

to continue beating, to continue going, and to continue living
even the shadows of the night cant hide, this love we carry that continues on
past the distance that keeps you from me
and the time wont be so long till you can be with me 

Black Friday madness.

Sadly when people say everything must go on black Friday it also seems people throw out morals as well as Christ. It is like everyone forgets what Christmas and Thanksgiving is truly about and it becomes a boxing match after every Thanksgiving to get the last barbie doll. What have we become? the stuff in stores are meaningless and will give you nothing but disappointment in the long run.

Why act like this? when Christmas is about celebrating Jesus birth not the stuff under the tree. That Thanksgivings about giving thanks to the God who has giving you so much and not about the deals you can get at night and the next day. As people kill each other a stomp Walmart greeters to death. I begin to wonder if anyone truly cares what these to holidays truly mean to not only our history but our Lord. Shame on us from turning two holidays that were meant to honor God into a death match for the last furby or what ever is the hot new toy. We dishonor God with our actions and as people hug big TVs for there lives they should be hugging God for there soul will people kill each other for the latest toy we should be worrying about fellow believers losing there life to worship the Lord. We worship stuff in this country and turned our backs on God who is the one who made this country great to begin with. Some maybe drawn into the pretty lights of black Friday but not this man. So join me in staying away from the metal illness of this day and turn to Jesus Christ.

loved and not alone

waking up with this pain inside,  feeling like i'm drowning in the sadness that surrounds my my heart 
tonight i find myself looking up at the clouds, frowning i whisper “I'm all alone.” 
standing out in the rain, silently wondering “can this end?” 
a broken heart is all that loneliness lends.
I stand here wondering if the wounds will ever mend. 

tears streaming down my cheeks, i fall to my knees my heart cries out 
“all the fears that i hide, and all the secrets that i keep” 
trying to stay strong to put on a brave face 
this act can only last so long. 

taking off the mask, in which i hide, the deepest pain i feel inside
putting my head in my hands, i still wonder “does anybody hear me cry?” 
no one knows how deep the scars really lie. 
im lost in the rain, but  then i hear somebody calling my name.
my  hope begins to to rise , and i began to think it all was a lie 
looking at the sky “im not alone?”


to my surprise i hear my name, then a moment later yet the same. 
from this i gain the strength to rise, running i hope to hear the voice one last time.
hoping yet in the darkness for a light to shine 
In this i began to see a sign, i lose sight of the sadness that was mine 
as your voice reaches my ears, i began to see you standing there 
smiling your arms are open wide , and i know i do not have to hide 
Now i can lay my fears aside

My heart begins to beat again, after so long of feeling dead 
I feel the wounds beginning to truly mend 
This love you have for me, is so much more than i have ever see. 
As i stand here in your arms, i truly feel nothing can go wrong 
here i came to understand that love is so strong 


this is what came to know
love is greater than any distance, near or far
love runs deeper than any scars 
love is there when we take our last breath, love transcends any death  

Why Jews should not be blamed for Jesus' death.

I been hearing from to many people nowadays blaming the Jews for the death of Jesus. Why blame his death on the Jews? Why ingore the facts that all of this was meant to happen in order to provide salvation to the world and the fact it was the father's will that he died for our sins. No it was not the Jews who are responsible but the father and Jesus himself who knew it was going to happen.This was set in stone since the beginning of creation. To save us from Adam and Eve's mistake. So how can you put blame on one group when we are all to blame. For it was all of our sins that held them on the cross not the nails. It is why he died. To blame others of his death is to deny the cross. To hate Jews for a act that was set in stone to begin with is to deny the cross. And to still rave about his death like it was a war crime is to deny the cross and to deny he has risen from the dead. So in reality to make a stink about who killed him instead of what it means is to miss the point of Jesus death on the cross.

John 3:16-17

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

So Ackbar claim down he knows!

define beauty

Define Beauty
Is it really something that that comes from the inside? Is the outer look really what we are suppose to aim? To hide all our flaws that we see as bad?

Where have we gone? Seeing all ourselves as not enough. That we must aim higher to see ourselves as worthy to see ourselves as good looking.

What happens on the inside? When all we feel is broken. We dress ourselves up up and put mask on to impress those around us. Yet on the inside we are falling apart. Not able to see the end.

Unable to answer the question when will I be good enough.

All we see is the pain of others and the darkness that surrounds. There seems to be no end.

But to feel freedom of a heart becoming whole. The light that cannot be broken. The joy that comes when you know you truly are loved and not alone. That you do not have to dress up or hide to seem good enough. There is someone who will hold you in their arms and tell you you're beautiful.

I made you the way you are and you are good enough. True beauty does lie not from the inside but you are on the inside take a look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are.

A Moment

Theres a moment where everything flashes before your eyes, and every part of your being cries out. 
You see all that was, and you wounder about all that will ever be. 
You come to question who you are. Is this who your truly meant to be? 
Taking a look in the mirror years of experience is what you see. Someone worn with many battle scars is reflected back at you.Yet beauty can still be found. 
As you stand there you seem broken, defeated, scars running deeper than anyone will ever know.
Yet there is this power, a power that's kept you standing, kept you going, and keeps you fighting all this time 
What is this power? Is there even a word to define it.
Raking your brain for an answer none comes to mind. Maybe before long the answer will come. 

Valley Forge Moments.

Well as you guessed it I will be talking about trails not only why trails happen but what is the purpose of them. A great example of a trail is the one in Valley Forge  during the Revolutionary War. They went in Valley Forge beaten and hopeless and it got worse as the winter rolled in. Many wanted to give up. But also during this time they trained themselves under the help of Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben who turned a bunch of farmers and ordinary men into the fighting force that would eventually be the British.

Many of face moments that seem like the end of the world and feel there is on escape from it. Some give up on faith. Others still try to fight there way out when fighting just makes things worse. And a few decide to end it all. God does is doing one of two things in these moments tho. One he is letting your bad choices play out for while is a God of love and Mercy he will let you live with the choices you made. Two he is trying to Forge you into an more stronger person than you where before. Trying to change you for the better by making you live through the times where you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

James says it best in James 1:2-8 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

I personally know this statement to be true. A few months ago I lost my Cousin and yes to this day it still hurts and while God had nothing to do with his passing he has been using it to strengthen us as a family and as individuals. While I would give anything to have him back I cannot ingore the good God has done through something that the enemy wanted so badly to use to drive many from him. For months I been like the guy that James mentioned in 6 through 8 and know how hard it is to face such a trail but a few good friends and the recently the love of my life keep reminding me that Jesus was with me and turning my back on him was not going to make things better.

You see he uses these Valley Forge moments not only to strength us but to bring us closer to him. Not only to get us to see our limits but to bring us out of darkness even when he was not the cause. The worst thing one can do is to give up on Jesus and the hope you have in him. Even when the world is falling apart around you Many people faced worse in his name and for his name sake Like Dietrich Bonhoeffer. The Jesus chosen 12 who all but one faced horrible deaths and the one that lived was sent to an island to live by himself after the failed to kill him by boiling him to death.  With Christ at our side not even the world can hold us back. With Christ by our side even in death we win. It is what Iranian Christians know. It is what all middle Eastern Christians know and every other Christian who has been hunted down in the name of Fascism. Weather it comes in the form of atheism or religion Fascism or any type you can think of. They face that world with hope in there hearts for they know in the end they know who is in charge and where they are going if they die. So no matter how hard it gets turn to your heavenly king Jesus. He was beaten and killed. He lost family and friends and was even outcast by the government and the church leaders of the time. Even by his friends before his death. He understands your pain and wants to even carry the burden for you. Turn to him in these moments. Know he is with you in these moments.  Isaiah 61:1

The narrow way

The Narrow way many Christians do not even know what that truly means. Most just ingore it figuring that since they go to church they are walking the Narrow way. When in reality many do not walk this path out of fear or simply just to fit in but we are called to walk this path. We walk off of it for a few minutes we are off the path and outside of God's will. 

Matthew 7 13-14 

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Now how do we stay on this path let alone find it. Well I think Dietrich Bonhoeffer in The Cost of Discipleship said it best.

“To be called to a life of extraordinary quality, to live up to it, and yet to be unconscious of it is indeed a narrow way. To confess and testify to the truth as it is in Jesus, and at the same time to love the enemies of that truth, his enemies and ours, and to love them with the infinite love of Jesus Christ, is indeed a narrow way. To believe the promise of Jesus that his followers shall possess the earth, and at the same time to face our enemies unarmed and defenceless, preferring to incur injustice rather than to do wrong ourselves, is indeed a narrow way. To see the weakness and wrong in others, and at the same time refrain from judging them; to deliver the gospel message without casting pearls before swine, is indeed a narrow way. The way is unutterably hard, and at every moment we are in danger of straying from it. If we regard this way as one we follow in obedience to an external command, if we are afraid of ourselves all the time, it is indeed an impossible way. But if we behold Jesus Christ going on before step by step, we shall not go astray.” 
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

See the only way to follow the narrow path is to follow Jesus and his teaching. To follow his example in everything.

We are not called to be Ronin

For those who do not know Ronin are Samurai without a master. Usually killed in a blood feud between kings. Why I am even talking about this is because many Christians live like they as well do not have a master. They live like the rules that are set up in the New Testament do not apply to them. They live like Christ was never there Lord whether they hate others for different opinion or just because they sinned a sin they think is evil when God see us all as guilty. They Judge while forgetting that they are not the true judge.

First thing is first if you truly believe the Holy Bible is the word of God you would not be picking and choosing which rule to follow and which to ingore. You would not be saying well I know Paul talks about it a lot but Jesus never did so it must be okay with him. Well I know Jesus preached peace 100% but the one time Jesus mentions buying sowards must mean we must take arms against the government. While in reality when you pick and choose what to follow and what not to you miss the point of the whole thing.

Proverbs 30:5-6

Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.

Revelation 22:19 

And if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share
in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

Now for people who add things or read into things. Like Socialist and Marxist who claim Jesus hates rich people but in reality he was not even talking about being rich or on the other side who thinks Jesus would have an AK in one hand and a rocket launcher in the other instead of being a Warrior of Peace.  Yes Jesus said the thing about the camel and needle. Yes Jesus said that he disciples to sell their belongings to buy to swords. What both sides do not realize that he is talking about spiritual things not earthly. He is not talking about wealth or taking arms what he is talking about following him only not money. What he is talking about being prepared for attacks from Satan not taking up arms.

Now for those who judge people outside of Church. What are you doing? That is not our call to make. Yes we are to bring the word of God to people but not to force it on people.

Matthew 10:14  If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.

And then when they say no we are not to judge or force them to follow our rules.

1 Corinthians 5:12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?

See we are not called to judge others on the outside looking in but ourselves on the inside looking out. It is why many see us as hypocrites because we claim to be followers but yet we do not follow Jesus the way Jesus told us we must. We tell others do not marry another man because you are a man as well. While at the same time we are having sex outside of Marriage. We say well the government cannot steal money from the hard working CEO but yet we steal the supplies from work.

Finally those who think the rules do not apply to them. They think well I am saved I do not need these rules anymore. Well think again. If you truly love someone one would you do things to upset them? No most people would not but then we take a different way of thinking when it comes to Jesus. We say well I love Jesus but I am going to act like he never existed and live the way I want.

The reason for this article is not to bash but to warn if you keep living your life like Jesus is not there. If you keep living life like a Ronin then you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven. Jesus himself said so.

Matthew 7:21-23  “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’